Sorry I'm Not Sorry: My Passion & Meals

Raise your hand if you enjoy discussing gastrointestinal issues. Everyone, take a look around the room. Besides for your grandma, your friend in the medical field & the teenage boy in the corner, there probably aren't too many people raising their hands.

That's because GI issues aren't quite dinner conversations, small talk, or well, fun to talk about. Nobody thinks "I am going to wow this girl/boy/my boss by bringing up my digestion disorders." Nobody says, "I am going to become the most popular person ever by being open about my intestinal distress." Nobody wants to bring these up.

So they aren't discussed. At all.

6.5 years ago I had a unique experience of being diagnosed with crohn's & having 3 feet of my intestines removed. No, couldn't have been a broken bone with a cool cast, sinus issues that everyone can sympathize with, or joint inflammation that just sounds painful. I get the guts problems. I get the butt of the joke. I, a semi preppy, blonde teenage girl, got the one thing nobody really wants to discuss: gas, bloating, and painful bowels.

And I talk about it. Boy do I talk about it!

Not because I enjoy grossing people out (just SOME people), or because there's a certain wow factor in knowing how digestion works. But because the more I have been open about it, the more people have been open with me. The more people confide in me their issues. The more people come out of the woodwork to share their GI problems. The more people come to me for help and direction because they have seen me struggle & recover and THRIVE. And they want in on that (the main diff between them and my grandma-she's just complaining).

As cool as it is, I mean, come on, who wants that kind of popularity? "Yes, PLEASE go on about your bowels."

Hint: nobody is interested in the issues aspect and nobody wants to be in THAT popularity contest-except maybe gastroenterologists trying to bring in business...and personally I'd prefer a Dr. to have theirs under control before they tell me what to do. But that's another blog.

I can't tell you how many family members, friends, acquaintances and strangers with whom I have shared my experience. I have been open on social media (and in real life) about my diet (long term lifestyle change, not short term weightloss rollercoaster fad). The more I share online, the more people talk to me offline.

I post my meals and talk about different food groups on InstaGram in a way to show just how easy it is to live healthy. I share nutrition or health articles on Facebook to show different sides and to get people thinking about changes. After doing this for about 2 years, I can honestly say people are interested in health and can identify that they aren't healthy. My sharing of personal stories and online references get people thinking, talking and analyzing their health.

(Before I say anything more, I will admit it is a bit selfish motive here. It is a sort of therapeutic treatment for myself to use my experience for good by helping others through what I've learned in my own pain. It makes me feel better knowing what I went through has a higher reason.)

I want to help people. I want them to talk about their unhealthy bodies, because that is how you start looking for answers. If you can identify things are not right, and you have the motive (and guts-hehe) to talk to someone else about it, there is a better chance you will make a healthy change for your body.

If you are reading this, you either have heard me talk/read about my journey, have talked to me about your own problems or are my stalker so you've heard me talk and seen others talk to me?

My point is, I'm transparent about my issues because of the people I have helped. (In fact I am too transparent about everything in my life.) I empathize with those having issues, and rejoice with those who have found the light through my sharing of experience and knowledge. It brings me joy to know people are now like me-pain free, enjoying life and not suffering due to foods.

So, this is my public announcement for the day: Sorry I'm not sorry for taking pictures of my meal everyday and bringing up THAT DANG SURGERY, again.

If my sharing frustrates you, unfollow my Instagtam and stop reading this blog. Plenty of people, friends and family members already have blocked me. Sure, it initially confuses me that they have chosen to block me out for sharing one of my greatest passions, but for each person who stops reading, I talk to a handful of more people in person about what steps they should to take to begin their health journey. (No, I'm not a medical prpfessional, but ya don't need a degree to suggest eating vegetables is healthy ;)) And I'm not one to truly care about other's opinions. :)

It brings me joy to help others.

What's that saying? God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called.

In my case, He qualified me & gave me purpose when that doctor gave me the diagnosis & when I found paleo, Whole30 & Autoimmune Paleo Protocol.

So here I am, sharing my meals, shouting from the rooftops about the light at the end of the tunnel. I will share about the miracle God gifted me & the journey He has set me on until I can no longer speak, type, take pictures, or be.

So if you are holding back questions, don't. If you are afraid or embarrased to ask for help, stop. There are no judgments around my dinner table, so as long as you actually want to make a change (warning: that change will involve not eating what you deem "foods you can't live without"). I would love to share my journey, how I went from a teenage girl curled up in a ball from pain to a mid-20 year old eating my way into autoimmune disease remission drugfree & living life pain free.

Next time you see a crazy health foodie post about their fitness regime or dinner, maybe you will understand they share because that change in their life made a huge difference, and they can't hold it in.

-RR

180 Degree Change

J   U   N   E

June is my sentimental month.

I have much to say about June. So many things come to mind: my wedding anniversary, our pup's birthday, my high school graduation anniversary and the anniversary of my diagnosis of & surgery for Crohn's disease. 

Each June I reflect on the latter event as a new aspect is revealed to me. Every year God shows me just a little bit more of his plan in my life, and every year I'm just a bit more grateful for my journey that has brought me here.

This past year I've seen the greatest direction in my journey. I wasn't quite sure why some things happened to me, but I accepted it, and I've shared my story with any and everyone. I wasn't quite sure why my younger brother had so many allergies, but when we discovered all of my husband's allergies, I thought it made a little more sense. What I've learned in the past year has completely shaken anything I thought I knew about my life before. It's funny, how one event in your life can just change as the years go on. How much I can learn from a 10 day hospital stay. My original memoirs are located here in which case you will read about my struggles and miraculous healing. Every time I read these words, I am filled again with hope, love, and thanksgiving to a merciful, omnipotent Savior. The truth is, my Crohn's journey and my Faith are so heavily intertwined, I cannot share one without the other.

In 2012 I reflected on the things I had learned since my surgery. That was my 4 year anniversary, and I thought I had learned it all. I thought God had revealed most of the reasons. I was wrong.

6 years ago today I was in a hospital bed recovering from surgery. 

5 years ago I was participating in Fish Camp where I met my husband 

2 years ago I was a newly wed, ecstatic to cook for my new husband, months later only to learn of his food allergies that was a catalyst for our health journey

8 months ago I learned the true meaning of the scripture "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1


6 years ago, on my hospital bed the day before the surgery, I accepted a healing. In the following days in my talking with my Lord, I accepted a full healing and promise I would never have the pain again. As I've mentioned before, my scar is my rainbow. A little physical reminder to me of my promise from God. I had no idea how or why, but I had Faith in God's healing. I had Faith in a pain free life. As coached by my grandfather, a man of many healings, I cast out all doubt and clung to that promise, having Faith when others had doubts.

For 5 and a half years I held onto that promise.

This year, after we'd adjusted to a gluten-free, semi-paleo lifestyle, I stumbled across a resource from The Paleo Mom. What I learned was there were people with autoimmune diseases, specifically Crohn's, in remission from their disease, largely in part to their food choices and diet, as well as their lifestyle. There were people living with Crohn's who felt better and had reduced inflammation in their intestines by limiting certain foods from their diet by following The Autoimmune Protocol.

The lightbulb. The ah-ha moment. The pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.

For so long I had no idea how, I just believed the Lord had delivered me. This year I learned, all of my husband's food allergies finally forced me to become paleo, gluten free, dairy free, egg free, peanut free and soy free. All of these are suggested in the Autoimmune Protocol (AIP for short).




I was basically almost following the AIP diet; that was no coincidence. For the past few years, I thought my younger brother coached me into knowing how to cook for my future husband.



Ironically, God has actually used my husband to finally force me into a strict paleo lifestyle, for my own health. I have additionally have given up all grains and nuts, and am proud to say I so paleo I could give Wilma Flintstone a run for her money-er...dinosaur?


So where am I going? I'm not done yet learning all God has intended for my life. I know there are more things that will come out of this. There is hope for my future.

  

In general, my life looks completely different now than it did 6 years ago. I realized that when I compiled this comparative picture; there was so much more than the physical "then and now"





There is a 180 degree change in my life. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, gramatically...


This photo just sums up the self-control, discipline and inner peace I have now found. I'm done just pushing through life; there is a purpose in all I do, witness and have happened to me. There is focus, determination and hope; there is a plan for my future larger than I can imagine and better than I deserve.
What I started as a fun side-by-side comparison of my life and current accomplishments forced me to think about a lot more than the surface differences. I know I have a long road ahead of me; there is much, much more for me to learn. But with my Faith in Christ, a soul mate equally accepting of & excited for OUR life adventures, and supportive friends & family, I know this road will not be hard. I might stumble, I might take a few steps forward & a few steps back, but I am on the right path.

   

As I read earlier today,

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." -Psalm 121


The inner peace, that's from the Lord.

~@Rachel_Unrefined

21 Day Sugar Detox: Week 1 Recap

I have been posting all over Facebook and Instagram about this Paleo 21dsd I'm doing.

Boy has it been an adventure. Here's the recap:

I'm doing Level 3 with the Autoimmune modification. I chose this level since I already was on paleo, can't handle dairy anyways, and my autoimmune modifications worked best with this level. Specifically I'm staying away from nightshade vegetables & nuts compared to the usual paleo, plus eggs (allergen), all grains (oats included), soy (allergen and non paleo), dairy (allergen/intolerant and nonpaleo). And the list actually DOES go on to limit all fruits except minimal green apples and green tipped bananas, specific to the sugar detox.

The point for my specific level and modifications is to, while I am trying to curb sugar cravings, I am also attempting to try a diet and lifestyle of consuming foods that will not irritate my stomach/intestines and cause inflammation, since this is a HUGE deal for me and Crohn's and my lack of 3 feet of intestines.

So instead of focusing on the bad (this really got me down at one point last week), I'm focusing on what I CAN eat. And that's a whole lot of different meats and veggies!! For example, ground turkey meatballs were something my mother made me pre-surgery and making them again for a different reason has been extremely wonderful. And I like them, a lot.

I bought weird things. Ground bison and ground lamb meats? Kroger actually had those; I was impressed. Parsnips? I legitimately googled from the middle of the produce section what those were so I would even know where to look!! And here I thought I was fairly knowledgeable when it came to plants due to my cooking, gardening and college classes that led to a horticulture minor. Canned coconut milk, as compared to the carton coconut milk beverage, who knew!? Fish sauce?!

Produce

Just the MEAT

These will be fun to cook with!

I have made weird things! Herbal tea gelatin? Check.

It's like jell-o, but not sweet or sugary

Everything has tasted AWESOME though. I love new recipes; they get me outta my groove and I LOVE IT. 

Green Apple Breakfast Sausage
Who knew you actually can make your own sausage using ground pork and spices? blew.my.mind. (Yes, I realize this is how breakfast sausage is made; I have never tried it though.)

Sausage with spinach-best breakfast yet

Carrot-apple skillet breakfast hash

Meatza with a salad

Greek style Turkey Meatballs

Cinnamon & fennel braised pork, prepped

I apparently did not get a close-up of that nice pork dinner. So enjoy this Valentine's day dinner view where you might be able to make out food on a plate.

Lamb Burgers

Artichocke & lemon chicken with capers

 Also not pictured is the spaghetti squash bolognese that I made and substituted canned pumpkin for the tomato paste; it was pretty good, except for me over-cooking the spaghetti squash.

See? Not super hard recipes, and all are paleo!

I have so much energy and stay full longer. No 2 o'clock drowsies (though that went away when I began a paleo diet-goodbye gluten comas and sugar crashes). I WANT more food but I don't feel hungry. Snacks are easy to make though so that helps for times like this! 

I have cheated. I would say failed but I'm not done yet and I haven't given up yet. This being said, I ate more gf/vegan cupcakes and chocolate covered bacon in 3 days this past Valentine's weekend than I normally would have than I wish to admit. I ate hummus with bread and chips for dinner one girl's night. I liberally "taste-tested" the nut mixes I made for James's Valentine's Day gift.

But it's...kinda Paleo right?

Those were painful. Not the kind of pain that's mental of "why do I have no self-control?" Side note: perhaps this is the reason it is the last listed fruit of the Spirit-because it's definitely hardest for me to attain and strengthen. The fruit of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and....I'm coming for ya self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

But we're talking straight up physical pain the next morning from cheating. Perhaps not everyone will experience the same results after cheating when it comes to food. I didn't eat my bloating or sinus pressure causing foods (soy, eggs, gluten), just sugars and grains really. My intestines screamed at me. I'm not sure how to explain it other than being frank, so skip ahead if you just don't want to know. When they sewed my intestines together after removing 3 feet 5 years ago, a pocket occurred at the crime scene. Meaning solids/gases get stuck and occasionally I apply pressure to that region to keep things moving. (Tmi?) Sometimes there are a few moments of pain as things move through this region. It's something I keep an eye out for. Doesn't happen too often lately though.

BUT! It was because of my first successful 5 days of this detox that I realized the latter pain DID NOT occur. At all. For real, honestly, legitimately and seriously, et. al. For me, that has made this detox successful and those cheat days worth it. And that wasn't even the point of this whole detox!

I miss chocolate and sweets but I have found some good alternatives for snacking that are healthier, more nutritious and tastier. So yay for opening horizons!? I also ordered 8lbs of almond flour so I'm definitely looking forward to some serious paleo baking once I get off this detox!

Dipping vegetables into a homemade avocado dip (like guac but without pico really)

So simple. So delicious.

I haven't noticed much change with facial skin, so I'm continuing to lookout for that. That one day will be its own blog post. Maybe even two or three at this rate. However, the bumps on the back of my arms have reduced in numbers. Did some googling and seems as those can be caused by food allergies. Sweet. 

For me, I don't desire a weight change but have noticed a few pounds decrease. Some would find this change beneficial and could see a larger difference depending on the diet pre-detox. Then again, many people say they see weight loss when switching to a paleo diet, so that's not really ground-breaking news.

The hardest times are when I'm at work and someone brings in food (make myself stay busy and not walk past that table full of doughnuts and cookies and candy and sandwiches!) And in the evenings when I'm bored (once again, stay busy. Who knew the study and garage could be so organized and clean? Next up, steam mopping the floors).

I bought way too much food/meal planned for the first 7 days so I still have dinners to make to probably last until day 12, especially now that my vegetable zoodle maker has arrived! :)) But I'm off to plan the remainder of the meals and organize my grocery list! First thing on the list? Bacon. Lots and lots of bacon.

Current kitchen wants:

-Fancy crock pot that has a timer I can set; overcooked spaghetti squash mash is just not the same thing as faux spaghetti noodles.

-Juicer. Oh no, I'm becoming that fanatic! Better just pack the bags and move to Austin!

-Better zester. Or maybe I should just google how to zest without getting most of the zest stuck in the zester itself. Any suggestions?

-Mandolin slicer: after discussing with a friend what this is, it would make things SO much easier.

-Kitchen Food scale: because, I'm not a good judge of how many chicken thighs make up 3lbs after I have already removed said thighs from the package for freezing.

Peace, love & paleo

Cavewoman in the making

This is my Story, this is my Song

I originally wrote this note on Facebook on July 11, 2008, just a few days after leaving the hospital. I like to re-read it, often to remind myself of the smallest details that occurred that normally slip my mind. It is 5 years to the day of being admitted to the hospital, and I cannot even imagine the road I'd be on if it weren't for this experience. Prior to my hospital stay, I was a teenage girl, attempting to fit in with my peers, unsure where my future was, and stressed out because I couldn't do everything. I have since learned to trust fully in He that holds my life and have faith in His plan. My prayer for you, the reader, is to read my story with an open heart. 

This is a post explaining everything that went down in my 10 day hospital stay, read it if you want or were curious about why I was there. Enjoyyy

June 27th started out as a normal day, until I had my mother pick me up from hanging with Erin and Alicia and drive me home, where I stayed in bed all afternoon until about 9.40 when I had a 103 degree fever and stomach cramps like no other. I ended up in the emergency room and after getting a catscan, we learned I had Crohn's disease. To break it down: a portion of my intestines was inflamed and infected and my over active immune system was basically trying to kill myself. I then was 'admitted' to the hospital and began what became my 10-day hospital stay in room 314 in the H.E.B. Harris Methodist Hospital [[side note, there was no room 313, apparently the hospital didn’t have any room 13’s or floor 13]].

Originally, a colonoscopy was scheduled for Sunday morning, which was freakin’ sweet let me tell ya. But their plans changed after an episode of acute pain and high fever Saturday afternoon, and they moved the surgery to Sunday morning. The rest of Saturday afternoon was spent in agonizing pain, where I had to get help from my parents to get in and out of bed, anything involving ab work was not possible and I just couldn't do.

So surgery was scheduled Sunday, June 29th at 7:30 a.m. and I don’t really remember much about that day...until that evening after most the drugs wore off...and the next few days were filled with fun recovery and morphine. Every day was a fun adventure, seeing which nurse I had every day. Since their 12-hour shifts ran from 7am to 7 pm, I got this thrill twice a day! I was woken up many times each night by the pcts to check my temperature, blood pressure and heart rate. Surprisingly, my heart rate was 'too low' when they would wake me up from my sleep to take it, go figure... I had an IV every day I was there, but the hand/arm switched about every 2 days because they were giving me so much by IV, it would overwhelm my veins. In fact, once it began seeping into my arm not my vein, which was fun and painful experience. I actually named my IV stand Edward, I figured since he went everywhere with me, he deserved a name.  Edward got moody though and beeped whenever the antibiotics or other liquids going into my IV were close to out. So if I wasn't waking up from the pcts taking blood pressure or someone from the lab taking blood, it was Edward beeping rather loudly, not to mention if I had to use the restroom...Going into the hospital I had a huge fear of needles, crazy how that went away after a shot in the stomach every morning and drawing blood at 4:30a.m. and switching IV's about every other day changes things... 

After surgery, getting out of my bed began as a hard enough experience, let alone walking.  But one of the most rewarding times was being able to get out and into bed by myself. I couldn't move or do anything that consists of much ab work, so I had to re-teach myself how to move and get up or down using my arms and legs more than my abs. This movement, along with walking, was something I took for granted before the surgery. The joy of being able to walk my circular hall at a speed my grandmother could beat really can't be put into words.

On about Wednesday [[I think, all of the days run together really]], I had to get two blood transfusions. Apparently my hemoglobin count was down to a 7...where a normal person's was around 14. Basically, I was anemic.

I couldn't eat anything before the surgery, so my last meal was noon on Friday until a popsicle on either Wednesday or Thursday. Until then I survived on ice chips. [[3 days after leaving the hospital, after being able to eat normally for 3 days, I weighed in at about 15 pounds lighter than I was pre-surgery]] Luckily I surpassed hunger and didn't feel my body starving. But don’t worry, they were pumping me full of good nutrients to keep me alive via my IV. On Thursday or Friday, I began my 'liquid diet' which basically consisted of all the jello, cranberry or apple juice and chicken broth I wanted! Whoohoo!

I watched TV & movies, colored, thought, texted, prayed and slept to pass time. But let me tell ya, those 10 days were the lamest days I’ve ever experienced; just sitting in my hospital bed, losing weight and muscle tone, and probably brain cells.  The highlight of my days was when I had visitors. People from the outside, bringing cheer and laughter into my room; definitely sunshine on a rainy day... I owe a lot to my Aunt Karen, who spent so much time pampering me with pedicures, hair washings, and laughter; spending time with me; time away from her husband who is recovering from stomach and lung cancer. A full healing we will continue to believe in.

At this time I would like to thank everyone who came up to see me, texted, messaged, called, prayed and kept me in your thoughts. Thanks for everyone who visited with me after I returned home and showed concern. It meant and means so much to me to have everyone there for me. I love y'all so much!! I would like to report that I have been able to eat. I can eat beef, sweets, milk products, and things I haven't been able to eat in months without any pain. I’ve been healed and fixed! 

And I would now like to talk about how God works in mysterious ways. If this experience has done anything, it has surely strengthened my faith in my Lord and Savior. Everything about this condition has worked in perfect timing for his plan for my life.

My excruciating pain didn't start until a Friday, in which my doctor's office was closed, so my parents took me to the E.R. instead [[which just happened to be empty so I was seen to immediately]]. Otherwise a doctor would have diagnosed my condition incorrectly as he would not have the same ability as the hospital. The doctor at the E.R. was able to diagnose my condition quickly as his two children also had Crohn’s disease, which was really just a working of God for me to have had that doctor. Furthermore, this surgery couldn't have happened at a better time. If it happened during the school year I would have missed school; my classes, my GPA, Marquettes, senior year activities, anything and everything would have been affected. Instead, I was able to graduate after having an amazing senior year. I was able to celebrate 2 of my grandparents' 80th birthdays just days before going into the E.R., and getting out I was able to celebrate my Aunt Karen’s birthday and will be able to celebrate my little brother’s birthday. If this episode would have happened later, I would have fallen behind in my semester studies at A&M and I can't even imagine having this surgery 4 hours away from home in a hospital with doctors nobody knows [[the thing about staying in the hospital in Bedford is that my Aunt Karen works there and has for a long time and knew the best doctors and nurses and I was treated very nicely and efficiently]].

The largest healing miracle came in form of the catscan and the day that followed actually. Originally the catscan revealed a very large section to be removed in surgery. The Saturday before surgery, when we met with the surgeon, I was told he was going to have to remove a combined ten feet plus of my intestines, that which appeared inflamed and infected in the scan. The night before the surgery I went without a pain for twelve hours. Specifically, from late afternoon when Pastor Kyle and Jordan visited and we all prayed, laid hands and I accepted God's healing in my life, maybe around 5 p.m., to the actual surgery, I experienced no pain. Additionally, I didn't have a single pain killer in that time. The night before surgery I slept without pain, something which hadn’t happened in a year and 2 and a half months. I was jumping in and out of bed, something unusual for the amount of pain I was in the night before and that morning; seeing how all day Saturday people had to literally pull me and push me to move me out of bed. It was then that I knew I was healed.  That whole night I felt Jesus's presence in my hospital room, specifically holding my hand through the night.  This night was the most frightening night for me to ever experience. The night before I, Rachel Faith Armentrout, went into surgery.  I have never experienced surgery, and in fact, the only time I remember going to the doctor’s office was when I had strep sophomore year.  But I knew God had healed me of any further infection and I couldn't and can't thank everyone enough for praying as hard as they did. There was once in the night when I awoke in a sweat, but with no fever or pain. Later that week, we heard from some people that God woke them in the night to pray for me, all at 1 a.m., which was when I awoke. I thank God for everything he has done for me in this experience, for when I went to surgery, the surgeons removed the bare minimum of only 3 feet of my intestines, and that all the other problems the catscan had shown in my intestines were gone. Additionally, they removed my appendix, which was reported near hardened and two cists on my ovary. I had 11 external staples and have stitches, and according to the doctor, a whole lot more on the inside. But that’s a whole lot less than the surgeon anticipated the day before.

My mother stayed the night in the hospital room for the two nights prior and after the surgery. However, Tuesday night after my surgery, she decided to sleep at home. I don't blame her; the pullout couch couldn't possibly be comfortable. Waking up in the middle of the night in a dark hospital room had to be one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced. In the middle of the night, all alone, the room was so empty, lonely, and frightening. I don’t know if it was my fear amplifying the sound of the air conditioning, or if it was the devil himself storming outside my window, but I could have sworn there was a horrible rain storm that night [[which the next day my parents assured me there was definitely no storm that night]]. But at that time, I called out to my Lord and in the shadows of the room I saw Jesus. Maybe you think the pain killers went to my head, but the peace and tranquility that encompassed my body and soothed me back to sleep convinced me otherwise. For the rest of my stay, I did not find that room scary, because I knew Jesus was by my side, the entire time.

If you do not believe in miracles or in God's healings, I wish I could fully share everything I have felt with you to prove to you otherwise. To me, this experience was a strengthening of faith, as Jesus has further proved his love and power to me. I’ve never felt so carefree or pain free than how I felt going into this major surgery, knowing that God had his hand over me the whole time. If you are questioning God right now in your life, to really see if he's there, I wish my experience could be enough proof of an omnipotent and merciful God. 

If I could, I believe I would relive this experience. I really did see God and it fully solidified my beliefs in him. I wish it didn't have to take a $5k surgery and 10 day hospital stay to do so, but am so grateful it did. The most important thing I learned was that sometimes God works in ways we just don’t and can’t understand.  You can be in a situation where you've been questioning God for a long time, maybe longer than a year and two and half months. In that time you can be upset, mad, depressed, looking anywhere for answers, but maybe it’s not time yet for an obvious answer. Whatever your case, trust fully in the Lord and he will direct your ways to align to his perfect plan in your life. He will protect you, and if you stay with him, everything will turn out exactly how it should. I was always the child wanting to see God, wanting proof of his existence by being able to walk on water, or seeing a bruise instantly disappear. I have no doubt that this whole experience of God healing me of Crohn’s disease and guiding me through a minimal pain free healing was part of his plan to reveal himself to me. Sometimes our human knowledge can't understand the way God works, but that’s ok, because it's not for us to worry about.

If you have read my memoirs this far, I hope you get something out of it. Maybe you think I’m just crazy. Maybe you just think I’m a Jesus freak. If that’s the case, then bring on the label because I’m not denying it.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008, the day after being discharged from the hospital, I received a call from my grandfather, who just returned home as well [[he broke his hip just last month and was in rehab until this day]].  He shared this verse with me, and said he was praying it over me the entire time I was in the hospital. [[Funny how we were praying for each other, while we both were in a hospital/rehab center.]]  I wanted to share this with everyone else:

"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not; I will help thee." -Isaiah 41:13

And finally, the verses that have gotten me through life since the 7th grade:

"Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air; for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?...take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." -Matthew 6:25-26, 34

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Hebrews 11:1

And with that, I’d like to close my memoir with a deserving: Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Reflecting on My Post Surgery Life

For the past ten days (between the 4 year anniversary of the my entering the hospital and leaving the hospital), I couldn't help but relive those days, contemplating all I have learned since my stay.  I have pondered all the events  that piece together the road I took that has led me to where I am now.  After re-reading my journal entry from 4 years ago, I realized how some of the small details I had left out, made the largest impacts in my life.

Fish Camp:
In my journal entry, I failed to take note of a very small detail, only because I did not realize its importance at the time: The doctor in the ER who diagnosed me with Crohn's (because he had a son with colitis and a daughter with Crohn's who underwent my same surgery) asked his daughter if she would visit me in the hospital, because she was also an Aggie.  Following the surgery, after the extreme morphine days when I can actually recall who visited me, this girl came and talked to me.  She talked about her life post-surgery (probably one of the calming conversations at the time-to know other people had this operation and were doing fine).  She discussed her ability to eat 'good' foods again (ice cream and pizza!).  But most importantly, she mentioned how she was a Fish Camp Counselor, and she told me I HAD to go to Fish Camp because it'll be a lot of fun and the 'Ice Berry Blue' was to die for. [I later found out this was a drink in the cafeteria at the camp; anyone who has gone to Fish Camp will most likely be able to share about its wondrous tastes. In my experience, counselors and freshmen returned from camp with Nalgenes filled with this stuff].  Her willing to share with me, a random girl in her dad's hospital, was truly the first experience I had with the Aggie Family and my first glimpse of Fish Camp.  When I left the hospital, I was told I needed to stay at home, rest and recover for 6 weeks. And on the 7th week, I went to the Fish Camp I had registered for months before. I enjoyed the Fish Camp experience so much as a freshman, thanks to my wonderful Camp, DG, Counselors, and friends I made from Fish Camp, not to mention the first impression the doctor's daughter made on me, I applied for Counselor the following spring.  In the Spring of 2009, I became a counselor for Fish Camp Olvera; little did I know God had much more in store for me than just being a counselor; this was the camp I met and became friends with James, my husband of almost a month. This small detail of my surgery story still amazes me and brings me to tears; how God can make one single event waterfall into so many blessings, all in His time and according to His schedule. 


The Diet:
Before the surgery, while I was having intestinal issues, my diet consisted of plain bread, plain pasta, boiled vegetables, plain chicken or turkey, ground turkey, and butter and salt as the only "spices". The day before being admitted into the ER, I had eaten a can of olives, because I found that was about all I could eat.  We now joke about the infamous can of black olives that set me over and sent me into the hospital; Black Olives are still my favorite foods. I had lost much weight my senior year of high school, and later I heard many people believed I had an eating disorder. When I left the hospital I weighed 100 pounds (for a 5foot6 girl, that's way too light).  I often joke about my 'freshmen 30' that I gained during my first year of college; however, gaining back my weight and maintaining a consistent jean size has been THE best feeling.  Knowing I can buy a pair of jeans and still fit into it in 3 months has been a great achievement since my surgery.  Since I lack 3 feet of intestines, I must take Iron pills and eat foods high in Iron (since the large intestines is where Iron absorption occurs).  I can't eat corn, popcorn, or large amounts of salads due to the high amount of fiber in the foods. I believe this compromise (with my intestines) is quite acceptable; although there are times when I truly miss corn-on-a-cob or a big dinner salad.  I also have a new perspective on ridiculously skinny people; those individuals one would normally pick out of a crowd and ask one's friend, 'do you think he/she is anorexic?'  After having health issues that led me to be extremely skinny/look borderline eating disorder, I can't help but stop myself from thinking along those lines and wonder if they are having health issues. God has opened my eyes to care for people in a way I hadn't before.


My Scar:
The surgery left a noticeable scar; an approximate 3 inch vertical scar under my belly button.  Most of the time I can ignore the stares and glances from other people when I venture into public pools or beaches.  All of the time I wish I could stop and share with every single person what that scar means to me.  When I see the scar every day, what it reminds me of:

-The physical memories: pain before the surgery and all the times I spent throwing up due to eating food my stomach just couldn't digest, inability to eat normal foods, the inability to drink yellow Gatorade now after I had to consume so much of it for my CAT scan, watching 4th of July fireworks from my hospital room, how bad it hurt to sneeze for months after my surgery, the 'hand grenade' that was practically attached to me to soak up everything during the week after the surgery, how it took me almost 4 years to gain back my ab strength I had before since I could barely do crunches for a year following my surgery.

-The mental: knowledge I have acquired about intestinal diseases, learning how to reduce my stress and focus on a carefree life (I wish that could happen completely!), my learning about allergies and foods.

-The Angels in my life: the people and friends who have been there to help, to offer support, to ask questions and want to hear my story, the woman who walked into Jason's Deli one of the last days I worked before I went to college and was able to share her Crohn's story with me and my dad when I was getting off work, the scholarship donor who called a month after my surgery when he learned why I had missed the scholarship reception: he was also living with Crohn's and warned me of the pains of popcorn.

and most importantly:

-God's miraculous healing- falling asleep the night before the surgery feeling nothing but peace and feeling Jesus holding my hand during the night and through the surgery, telling my parents right before I left into the surgery that they won't find what they were looking for because God had healed me, hearing after the surgery that the doctors indeed did not find the 10 feet the CAT scan revealed needed to be removed, only a smaller portion (Humans only have 30 feet total of intestines, 10 feet and 3 feet are a huge difference).


There are days when I feel down, stressed, worried, etc., and on those days, my Lord only has to remind me of my scar, my memories, my experience, MY story.  I immediately feel ashamed I have doubt in His ability to take care of me.  I can't explain why this experience has happened to me; I believe some people, like myself, have miracles happen to them, some get to see them, and others just get to hear about them.  My healing miracle didn't just happen for my own healing; every time I share my story, I am able to bring glory to Him who heals, who keeps His promises, who brings joy and peace.  I feel compelled to share, for all of those people in my world who have not experienced a miracle [yet], so that they too may hear of God's greatness and faithfulness. 

I was raised with an evangelical pentecostal foundation in church.  My miraculous healing story only solidifies my belief in the baptism of the Holy Spirit, speaking and praying in tongues, laying on of hands, and of miracles. I have been in church Sunday School classes in college where a group discussion leads to opinions about these topics.  I have heard that 'miracles don't happen now a days because they don't need to'; I have been told 'speaking in tongues was only for the church in Acts, because people don't need to hear it to believe' and 'speaking in tongues is only used to show to outsiders about the Holy Spirit'.  At this point of the conversation, I share: I stand a healed woman, steadfast in my beliefs that actually Baptism in the Holy Spirit, speaking and praying in tongues and miraculous healing DOES occur in the 21st Century. I can share my story and my experience, but only those with open hearts seeking God can take in all that I say.  These events DO happen now-a-days, I come from a church where they DID occur, I have a story where they all played a large role in my healing.  It makes me sad to think Christians deny these gifts of the Spirit exist or NEED to exist, but I always ask, "Are you seeking them? Are you knocking on God's door for them? Are you steadfast in asking for them?" Who's to say this world does not need these gifts? I see a world full of pain, individuals searching for answers and peace, lost people desiring the wrong things to try to feel satisfied.  This world needs God and all of His gifts of the Spirit. I need them.


My walk with the Lord since the surgery has led to changed attitudes, perspectives, friendships and my relationship with Him.  He has led me to and away from people, places, and things.  I have been humbled and acknowledge I am nothing without Him.  He gave me Godly friends, a wonderful, fully scholarship funded college experience, an amazing degree, a job near home, a perfectly placed home next to Aggie neighbors who bring us to church, and a driven husband following my Lord.  He has also taught me everything goes according to His plan, all in His time.

I sometimes find it hard to share every little detail of my stay; I find it hard to talk about my experience without forming tears of joy.  I had wondered in high school what my testimony was; I thank God for it now.  And all it takes is a quiet whisper from Him or glace at my scar to remind me of His love for me, and all mankind.