My name is Rose....This is a true story.

Since James and Rocky were gone this evening, I ran a few quick errands after work and ended up at my parents' house for dinner. We spent the evening chatting, laughing, playing with Jack (my parents' dog) and introducing my parents to movies from Redbox. At the end of the night I almost escaped without my mother pushing a box of my things into my car to take back to my house. Included in this box, she gave me recently re-discovered schoolwork masterpieces.

In case you are unable to read that beauty, it reads: 

"Hi! My name is Rose. I got my name from my mom. She said I was a Rose and my brothers are two thorns." -Rachel Armentrout 

Now that you are done laughing and thinking that my mother is counting her lucky stars to have a daughter so that she doesn't only have to deal with thorns (just kidding brothers), I have to focus in on a detail. Guys.....  "This is a true story." No, I didn't actively expect to be called Rose, but as many of my current friends have heard me share, whenever I would 'play house' with friends, I would love to pretend my name was Rose, (sometimes Crystal, but there's no significance there). I'm sure this is a mere coincidence, right? LOTS of little girls choose this name to play with, right? Well I'm unsure about the exact number of Rachel's in the world going by the name 'Rose', or 'Rosie', but I don't believe in coincidences.

If you know me now, you know I am a Rosenbaum. Yes, my married name is German for something along the lines of "Tree Roses".  Now before you jump to any conclusions, no, I did not marry the first guy I found with a last name similar to a play name from my childhood. That sounds like a horrible reason to date or marry anyone. In fact, I had no part in planning this out, it all just fell into place. It's as though it was the plan all along; some people choose to call it 'destiny.'  Who knew at the ripe age of 8 years old, I would choose to go by a name eerily similar to my future husband's nickname, Rosie? Well, there is One who knew this.

When I went off to college, I had every intention upon majoring in accounting.  After all, I knew I liked numbers and didn't see myself anywhere else but in a business degree, but all along I knew my number 1 priority was to get my MRS Degree. My biggest dream was/is to someday be a "soccer mom"; I look forward to having a family.  You say, "Yes Rachel, we know this, we've seen your 'dress up in sports apparel' theme attempts." Well, about 2 weeks into my first accounting class, I realized that perhaps Accounting wasn't for me, and I better figure out what I did enjoy.  I quickly decided upon Marketing as my major.  Over the next few semesters, I, Rachel Armentrout, made the decision that actually, I was also possibly more interested in floral design, and maybe I'd figure out how to include this in my future plans, as well. One minor in Horticulture later, I graduated with the ability to do most of my own flowers for my wedding. I did so, and just this year I have actually started a floral side-business.  I'm looking forward to making flower arrangements and seeing how this new dream pans out.

Where am I going with this? I have had a dream to work with flowers and a dream to have a wonderful home garden for about 2 years now. It was about my Junior year in college that I said, "Hey, I think I like this flower stuff enough to seriously pursue it. I don't know why it never stuck out to me before. How could I go my whole life without enjoying the love of gardening and flowers?" Seriously, I thought this was a new endeavor, a newly found love. After all, I spent too much time dressing up before to get dirt under my fingernails.

 Oh. 

 

I guess I was the only person who didn't see that decision coming. Are you meaning to tell me that mayyybe flowers and gardening was an inherent love I had, and it just took me 20 years to finally make the conscious decision to pursue this path?


The second piece of artwork my mother gave me was a poster-board. Unlike the first masterpiece that my mother and I have laughed at for many years, I had completely forgotten about this project. I don't know what compelled my mother to save it for all of these years...funny how these things just work out, right?

   "A Fragrant Rose" -2002

 

OKAY! I GET IT! "Deciding" to love everything about flowers wasn't something new to me, as much as I thought it was! Perhaps I had this love deep down and was unable to pinpoint it earlier on because I wasn't able to see how it could be a lifestyle.  Last year I thought it was a revelation that I related everything to nature. Well, looks like I've been reppin' mother nature metaphors since at least 2002. 

On my drive home from my parents' house, after I was done laughing at just how funny it was that these two pieces of art just so blatantly show how much of my life I have been in love with flowers without realizing it, the Lord spoke to me. Perhaps, it took a while for me to start following my real dreams, but He already had those planned out for me.  It is not a coincidence that I loved the name 'Rose', found my soul mate whose nickname was 'Rosie', & I would use his nickname as my business name. When I saw these as three separate events, the sweet Lord showed me tonight that in fact they were all just a part of His plan.  Before I 'discovered' my love for flowers or was even thinking about my future, He had implanted in me a dream to have a flower shop. 

At 8 years old, I would play with a name that would be my professional name and dream life, but without realizing what I had done.  In my mind, I thought it was funny how my new last name resembled this play name; I had never stopped to consider how maybe the Lord had planned it all along. When I spent my childhood praying for my future husband and dreaming of my wedding and married life, God had me calling myself by my own future name. All along, I have been a Rosenbaum. Once I was able to look beyond God's sense of humor, I was surrounded by pure peace. There was a stillness as I was in awe of just how truly perfect God's plan for my life has been, will be, and is.  I thought this was a new adventure; I hadn't considered it had always been my adventure. While I have been viewing my life as a new journey every day, unsure of where God will take me, He has seen it as a rose, just continuing to bloom as every day goes by.  This was His plan all along, and I have finally seen and acknowledged that it wasn't a backup plan when my first major didn't go well or a degree I had to get while pursuing the MRS Degree, but rather, this was God's plan for my life.

Hi, my name is Rose, and this is my handsome husband, Rosie. 

And this is just another example of how God has my life perfectly planned. It only look me 23 and a half years to finally comprehend it (or at least up to this point).  I leave you with this hope, that every step you take might be your decision, by the Lord has planned your path already.  When you follow Him, He will lead on your most rewarding life journey.

~Rachel

 

3 Types of Love

When James and I were going through pre-marriage counseling, my pastor gave us the workbook Before You Say "I Do". While this book was originally written in 1977, it was a great tool for us to learn more about each other and God's desires for our marriage (and the old pictures were a comical bonus!). One particular lesson really stuck out to me, as I discovered the lesson was about a topic I had realized before, but I was unaware of its Biblical references.  This lesson talked about the 3 Types of Love.

While a marriage should be based on love, our engagement was legitimately based on love, as James read 1 Corinthians 13 from the Bible to me as he proposed last summer. We acknowledge love is from God and what better way to learn love than from God's word?  The workbook had a chapter entitled 'Love as a Basis for Marriage' and in it, besides studying verses about love, we learned of the three Biblical forms of Love: Eros, Philia, and Agape. 

1. Eros: "a romantic love, sexual love."

2. Philia: "as in a friendship: companionship, communication and cooperation."

3. Agape: "self-giving love, gift love, the love that goes on loving even when the other becomes unlovable; it's something you make happen; Agape is kindness; it is being sympathetic, thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of your loved one."

As the workbook discussed each type, James recalled a devotional video discussing these three types, in easy to understand language and examples entitled "Nooma Flame".

All of these types of love are necessary for a love that lasts forever, an eternal love. These three types create a fulfilling love and combine to create the strongest form of love. Without one type, the 'love' fails.

This description of love explains why certain relationships fail: 'friends with benefits' will not last as it misses the final commitment aspect; a love without romance fails as well as a love between individuals who cannot get along as friends. While these aspects seem to be perfect common sense, I'm surprised at just how many people I see attempting to create a love with only 2 of these 3 requirements.

I was reading last night from a book my cousins gifted us as a wedding gift, Fall in Love, Stay in Love by Willard F. Harley, Jr. The author explains his findings of two kinds of love in marriage: romantic love, "the feeling of being in love-finding someone irresistible," and caring love, "a decision to try to do what you can to make someone happy-a willingness and effort to care for someone". I found his descriptions interesting and built upon the three Biblical descriptions of love.

I am grateful for the true love I have found with James, my soulmate, and I look forward to the rest of forever with him! Identifying the aspects of love will help us develop our love and be capable of working on an aspect that may become weak over the years.  Also being able to recognize these 3 parts of long-lasting love can help us help others. Realizing these types of love could be the saving grace for marriages world-wide.

~RR

"He is the love of my life, my constant companion, my partner, and my best friend..." -Cindi Griffith describing her late husband, Andy Griffith

Allergy-free pancakes!

(I'm going to recap here a few sentences in case you haven't read my previous allergy free cooking blog):

A few weeks ago we got James's blood-work back and discovered James is allergic to dairy, eggs, gluten, peanuts, soy, citric acid...(I think I listed them all). At this point, most people ask why we tested James for allergies. Easiest answer is a combo of headaches and stomach aches and the curiousity of an allergy possibility. I am also allergic to eggs and am lactose intolerant, so we decided to attempt to be nice to our bodies and get rid of these food allergens from our diets.  Having a younger brother who's allergic to soy, gluten and eggs, an older brother allergic to peanuts, eggs and is lactose intolerant, and a sister-in-law allergic to beef and dairy (ie the whole cow), I thought I was ready to jump right in. I may have been used to the diet, but I was definitely not knowledgeable about how to cook for said dietary restrictions! (And everyone thought I was the hard one to cook for; I just can't eat corn/salads/extremely spicy foods! Cooking for someone who has 3 feet less intestines is SO MUCH EASIER than cooking for someone allergic to the common foods!)

So besides for purging our pantry of all those foods and purchasing more expensive allergy-free foods, we have begun researching allergy-free recipes. While our dinners won't differ much (we tend to eat meats and veggies for dinner), we realized breakfasts and snacks will be our challenges. So, I found a pancake recipe that is gluten-free, egg-free and dairy-free and thought I'd give it a try. 

The recipe is as follows:

Protein Packed Pancakes

http://www.realfoodallergyfree.com/2011/12/protein-packed-pancakes/

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Navy Beans, drained
• 1 2/3 cup Water
• 1 Tbsp Honey (Don’t substitute as this gives the pancakes the golden color.)
• 2 tsp Oil (I use olive)
• 1 tsp Vanilla
• 1/2 tsp Salt
• 1 1/2 cup Rolled Oats

Directions:

1. Add ingredients to blender in the order listed. Blend until well blended. Set aside to thicken while you heat the skillet to medium.
2. Cook on until golden brown, turning as needed.

The first challenge, besides purchasing the items, was getting over the fact that navy beans will be a main ingredient of pancakes. 

I compiled all ingredients into a blender and heated the griddle:

I used coconut oil to grease the griddle then began cooking. The first round of pancakes didn't turn out as pretty as the second and third.  These pancakes take longer to cook than the gluten filled Bisquick ones, but tasted practically the same! (Believe it or not!) The texture wasn't as light and fluffy as "normal" pancakes, but we enjoyed them!

I'm excited to find more recipes, hopefully ones that work out better than the waffle recipe I attempted the other day.... You win some, you lose some, right?

~RR

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." 

-Henry David Thoreau

Reflecting on My Post Surgery Life

For the past ten days (between the 4 year anniversary of the my entering the hospital and leaving the hospital), I couldn't help but relive those days, contemplating all I have learned since my stay.  I have pondered all the events  that piece together the road I took that has led me to where I am now.  After re-reading my journal entry from 4 years ago, I realized how some of the small details I had left out, made the largest impacts in my life.

Fish Camp:
In my journal entry, I failed to take note of a very small detail, only because I did not realize its importance at the time: The doctor in the ER who diagnosed me with Crohn's (because he had a son with colitis and a daughter with Crohn's who underwent my same surgery) asked his daughter if she would visit me in the hospital, because she was also an Aggie.  Following the surgery, after the extreme morphine days when I can actually recall who visited me, this girl came and talked to me.  She talked about her life post-surgery (probably one of the calming conversations at the time-to know other people had this operation and were doing fine).  She discussed her ability to eat 'good' foods again (ice cream and pizza!).  But most importantly, she mentioned how she was a Fish Camp Counselor, and she told me I HAD to go to Fish Camp because it'll be a lot of fun and the 'Ice Berry Blue' was to die for. [I later found out this was a drink in the cafeteria at the camp; anyone who has gone to Fish Camp will most likely be able to share about its wondrous tastes. In my experience, counselors and freshmen returned from camp with Nalgenes filled with this stuff].  Her willing to share with me, a random girl in her dad's hospital, was truly the first experience I had with the Aggie Family and my first glimpse of Fish Camp.  When I left the hospital, I was told I needed to stay at home, rest and recover for 6 weeks. And on the 7th week, I went to the Fish Camp I had registered for months before. I enjoyed the Fish Camp experience so much as a freshman, thanks to my wonderful Camp, DG, Counselors, and friends I made from Fish Camp, not to mention the first impression the doctor's daughter made on me, I applied for Counselor the following spring.  In the Spring of 2009, I became a counselor for Fish Camp Olvera; little did I know God had much more in store for me than just being a counselor; this was the camp I met and became friends with James, my husband of almost a month. This small detail of my surgery story still amazes me and brings me to tears; how God can make one single event waterfall into so many blessings, all in His time and according to His schedule. 


The Diet:
Before the surgery, while I was having intestinal issues, my diet consisted of plain bread, plain pasta, boiled vegetables, plain chicken or turkey, ground turkey, and butter and salt as the only "spices". The day before being admitted into the ER, I had eaten a can of olives, because I found that was about all I could eat.  We now joke about the infamous can of black olives that set me over and sent me into the hospital; Black Olives are still my favorite foods. I had lost much weight my senior year of high school, and later I heard many people believed I had an eating disorder. When I left the hospital I weighed 100 pounds (for a 5foot6 girl, that's way too light).  I often joke about my 'freshmen 30' that I gained during my first year of college; however, gaining back my weight and maintaining a consistent jean size has been THE best feeling.  Knowing I can buy a pair of jeans and still fit into it in 3 months has been a great achievement since my surgery.  Since I lack 3 feet of intestines, I must take Iron pills and eat foods high in Iron (since the large intestines is where Iron absorption occurs).  I can't eat corn, popcorn, or large amounts of salads due to the high amount of fiber in the foods. I believe this compromise (with my intestines) is quite acceptable; although there are times when I truly miss corn-on-a-cob or a big dinner salad.  I also have a new perspective on ridiculously skinny people; those individuals one would normally pick out of a crowd and ask one's friend, 'do you think he/she is anorexic?'  After having health issues that led me to be extremely skinny/look borderline eating disorder, I can't help but stop myself from thinking along those lines and wonder if they are having health issues. God has opened my eyes to care for people in a way I hadn't before.


My Scar:
The surgery left a noticeable scar; an approximate 3 inch vertical scar under my belly button.  Most of the time I can ignore the stares and glances from other people when I venture into public pools or beaches.  All of the time I wish I could stop and share with every single person what that scar means to me.  When I see the scar every day, what it reminds me of:

-The physical memories: pain before the surgery and all the times I spent throwing up due to eating food my stomach just couldn't digest, inability to eat normal foods, the inability to drink yellow Gatorade now after I had to consume so much of it for my CAT scan, watching 4th of July fireworks from my hospital room, how bad it hurt to sneeze for months after my surgery, the 'hand grenade' that was practically attached to me to soak up everything during the week after the surgery, how it took me almost 4 years to gain back my ab strength I had before since I could barely do crunches for a year following my surgery.

-The mental: knowledge I have acquired about intestinal diseases, learning how to reduce my stress and focus on a carefree life (I wish that could happen completely!), my learning about allergies and foods.

-The Angels in my life: the people and friends who have been there to help, to offer support, to ask questions and want to hear my story, the woman who walked into Jason's Deli one of the last days I worked before I went to college and was able to share her Crohn's story with me and my dad when I was getting off work, the scholarship donor who called a month after my surgery when he learned why I had missed the scholarship reception: he was also living with Crohn's and warned me of the pains of popcorn.

and most importantly:

-God's miraculous healing- falling asleep the night before the surgery feeling nothing but peace and feeling Jesus holding my hand during the night and through the surgery, telling my parents right before I left into the surgery that they won't find what they were looking for because God had healed me, hearing after the surgery that the doctors indeed did not find the 10 feet the CAT scan revealed needed to be removed, only a smaller portion (Humans only have 30 feet total of intestines, 10 feet and 3 feet are a huge difference).


There are days when I feel down, stressed, worried, etc., and on those days, my Lord only has to remind me of my scar, my memories, my experience, MY story.  I immediately feel ashamed I have doubt in His ability to take care of me.  I can't explain why this experience has happened to me; I believe some people, like myself, have miracles happen to them, some get to see them, and others just get to hear about them.  My healing miracle didn't just happen for my own healing; every time I share my story, I am able to bring glory to Him who heals, who keeps His promises, who brings joy and peace.  I feel compelled to share, for all of those people in my world who have not experienced a miracle [yet], so that they too may hear of God's greatness and faithfulness. 

I was raised with an evangelical pentecostal foundation in church.  My miraculous healing story only solidifies my belief in the baptism of the Holy Spirit, speaking and praying in tongues, laying on of hands, and of miracles. I have been in church Sunday School classes in college where a group discussion leads to opinions about these topics.  I have heard that 'miracles don't happen now a days because they don't need to'; I have been told 'speaking in tongues was only for the church in Acts, because people don't need to hear it to believe' and 'speaking in tongues is only used to show to outsiders about the Holy Spirit'.  At this point of the conversation, I share: I stand a healed woman, steadfast in my beliefs that actually Baptism in the Holy Spirit, speaking and praying in tongues and miraculous healing DOES occur in the 21st Century. I can share my story and my experience, but only those with open hearts seeking God can take in all that I say.  These events DO happen now-a-days, I come from a church where they DID occur, I have a story where they all played a large role in my healing.  It makes me sad to think Christians deny these gifts of the Spirit exist or NEED to exist, but I always ask, "Are you seeking them? Are you knocking on God's door for them? Are you steadfast in asking for them?" Who's to say this world does not need these gifts? I see a world full of pain, individuals searching for answers and peace, lost people desiring the wrong things to try to feel satisfied.  This world needs God and all of His gifts of the Spirit. I need them.


My walk with the Lord since the surgery has led to changed attitudes, perspectives, friendships and my relationship with Him.  He has led me to and away from people, places, and things.  I have been humbled and acknowledge I am nothing without Him.  He gave me Godly friends, a wonderful, fully scholarship funded college experience, an amazing degree, a job near home, a perfectly placed home next to Aggie neighbors who bring us to church, and a driven husband following my Lord.  He has also taught me everything goes according to His plan, all in His time.

I sometimes find it hard to share every little detail of my stay; I find it hard to talk about my experience without forming tears of joy.  I had wondered in high school what my testimony was; I thank God for it now.  And all it takes is a quiet whisper from Him or glace at my scar to remind me of His love for me, and all mankind.